


Ave Maria

by wafflesandpancakes



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Alternate Universe - Religious, Established Relationship, Forbidden Love, Homophobic Language, Idiots in Love, Internalized Homophobia, Lewis is catholic, Light Angst, M/M, Nico is a nobleman, Period-Typical Homophobia, Religious Conflict, Religious Content, Religious Guilt, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Welcome to London Anno 1400 or something like that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:03:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21717430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wafflesandpancakes/pseuds/wafflesandpancakes
Summary: Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for them sinners. Now and at the hour of their death.
Relationships: Lewis Hamilton/Nico Rosberg
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	Ave Maria

**Author's Note:**

> this is a work of fiction and does not represent my views nor is this meant to be against the church or in another way blasphemous

London’s sounds were somewhere behind him, somewhere outside the church walls, the people’s voices mixing with the familiar sound of horse carriages. It was so much quieter inside the building, so different from the outside, the busy city, even though his steps had echoed so loud that they had sounded like gunshots in his ears as he walked down the aisle, leaving the confessional. He had tried to leave the city behind himself as he had entered God’s house, but when you lived in London, you could not leave the city behind you, no matter where you went. The city played by its own rules.

“_Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee._”

He was kneeling on the ground, his head hanging so low that it nearly touched his hands, which were folded around his rosary, the cross falling out between his fingers. Cold where the tiles beneath his knees as he quietly whispered the “Ave Maria” over and over again, slowly rocking back and forth. The priest had told him to pray the “Ave Maria” twenty times, but as his thoughts started to wander, he continued praying, praying himself into a kind of trance. And even though he prayed the whole time, his intentions pure and clean, it did not feel as if his sins were forgiven, the weight of them pulling him further and further down.

“_Blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus._”

He did not hear the steps approaching him, the quiet sound of feet that had never needed to work the hard work of a laborer, feathery and light steps of someone who had never needed to work in general. They came to a halt behind him as the person listened to him for a while, before speaking up.

“I’ve waited for you the whole evening, dear.”

The well-known voice broke his endless circle of prayers and a silence fell over him, but he kept his body in his previous position and did not turn to look at the intruder.

“Don’t call me dear.”

“What are you talking about, Lewis? You never said anything against it.”

Lewis lifted his head and looked up at the statue above him. The Lady towered over the two men, taller than life, dominating the scene. They should not be here, beneath her, this conversation should not be held in a church and especially not in front of the Mother, but Lewis knew it was too late to run away. They needed to talk about it, about them, and if they had to do it in a church, so be it.

“I talked to the priest today.”

“You did what?”

“I talked to Father Lawrence. I needed to, Nico. Whatever we’re doing with our lives, it isn’t the right thing to do.”

He got up on his feet and dusted off his knees. He did not dare to look at Nico, not now, not while talking about something as significant and important as the current topic. The man behind him sighed, and Lewis knew that he ran his fingers through his blonde hair. Nico was an angel, the most heavenly thing in his life, but he knew that what they did was a sin. They were not allowed to do those things together, and still, he felt as if the nobleman lulled him in as if he was a succubus and Lewis his victim.

“Don’t you love me?”

It were those words that made him turn around, facing his best friend, his better half, his lover. Of course, he loved him, how could he not? Nico was the most intelligent, most fascinating, most funny person he had ever known. He had fascinated him from the first moment they had met. His heart had always belonged to Nico, for so many years, but it was not what they were destined to do. Nico should marry a beautiful, young woman, and he should continue a life only dedicated to God. Away from the sins of the city, of London, and in a monastery. Leave his old life in the taverns of the city behind him.

“That’s not the point. Go, marry, be happy. Make your father proud. Make your family proud. Don’t spend your energy on me.”

“Don’t you love me, Lewis?”

Nico sounded heartbroken, empty as if every bit of hope had left his body. Lewis closed his eyes and sighed, biting his lower lip.

“Of course I love you, Nico, but this is not what we are meant to do. This is a _sin_! God-”

“God created us all in his image. Who cares if we are faggots? If God created us as we are, why would it be wrong to love someone of the same sex?”

Silence fell over them, heavy and dark as the nights where the moon disappeared completely. If it was that easy, Lewis would not have confessed his sins to the priest, because they would not have been sins. But God created men and women to be together, to love each other and have children, not so they would fall in love with someone of the same gender. They were perverts, both Nico and him, and if they continued like this, neither of them would end up in heaven to be with the godly father.

“It’s not that easy. We aren’t supposed to be. Please, just understand it.”

“But I can’t! If you love me and I love you, why can’t we be together?! We just have to make it work!”

Nico wanted to grab his hands, but Lewis was quicker and pulled them away, grabbing his jacket and his hat from one of the church benches. He could hear that the other man did not move, frozen in his movements.

“We can’t. There is no way. You are a _someone_, you have a name, you have the possibilities to achieve anything you want to. You will spend your life freely without having to worry about anything. But I, I am a _nobody_. I don’t belong at court, I don’t belong in your bed. I’m not worthy to spend time with you. I am just a stupid boy from the street who’s working in a tavern.”

Finally, Nico seemed to be able to move again, quickly walking over to Lewis and cradling his face in his hands.

“You are so much more than a stupid boy from the street. I didn’t fall in love with a nobody, I fell in love with you. You impressed me, all those years ago, because you’re witty and spontaneous.” Their eyes locked, and Lewis smiled slightly as Nico leaned his forehead against his. “Not everyone would’ve pulled me away from the party and to the gardens. Especially not stupid boys from the street. You treated me differently from all those other people, you treated me as if I was a normal person. And sometimes, I wish I would be so that we could live together.”

Tears were glistening in the corner of Nico’s eyes, his lower lips slightly shaking. Lewis swallowed hard and closed his eyes, putting his arms around Nico’s waist and pulling him closer.

“You’re way too soft to be able to live in the streets.”

“But I’ve got you to protect me.”

Their lips met for a chaste kiss, as virginal as the person whose statue was towering above him. It was strange, sinning inside God’s house, but he could not care less as he sighed into the kiss. It was Nico who pulled away first before resting his head against his shoulder.

“Do you want to come with me now? My bed is pretty empty without you…”

Later that night, as he was laying in Nico’s bed, he got the rosary out of his pocket and held it over his face. The wood was illuminated by the moon shining through the window, hitting the bed perfectly. His eyes wandered to the figure that was resting on his chest, the quiet snore like a piece of strange music in his ears, and he let out a short sigh as he took the rosary properly into his hands.

“_Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners. Now and at the hour of our death._”


End file.
